Tentacle Armada

So a few days ago, Blowfish posted a writeup on the Queen’s Blade Leina Battle Book. It’s a great-looking book and the best part about it is that it features Nyx, the peasant girl-turned-sorceress-turned-tentaclebait. However, that means that his site has more tentacles than mine. I’ve been running this site for over a year, I’m a big fan of tentacles, my site is even named after tentacles, but now Blowfish has more tentacles on his site than I do on mine. That’s unacceptable, it’s completely unacceptable, and I need to do something about it. So to restore balance to the universe, here we have a quick review of the artbook Mahou Shoujo Ai Illustration Collection.
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Having become intrigued by Keumaya’s figure lineup, I put in a bid for Violet on Yahoo! Japan Auctions only to lose out in the last hour. Undaunted, I run a search on eBay and Violet shows up the next day. After a very brief moment of hesitation, I punch in a bid value and put the mouse cursor over “Place Bid” and then …

COMMON SENSE: Hey man.
ME: Oh for the love of basketball, not you again. Don’t you got anything better to do?
CS: This is my job man, I’m here to stop you from doing stupid things. And I had this feeling that … wait, what’s that up on the monitor?
ME: This? This is Zanjibaru.
CS: No, not your porn game. Wait, that’s eBay! You’re buying another perverted girly figure again, aren’t you?!
ME: … Mebbe.
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While Western popular culture features a number of parallels to its Japanese counterpart, one aspect that does not have a corresponding analogue is doujin, the vast conglomeration of self-published comics, video games, music, and more. Doujin is such an integral part of both the culture and industry that such works can command influence and popularity far beyond their humble origins; for example, the Touhou Project started as a series of 2D shooting games but has since grown into a powerful franchise complete with its own fan-made doujin works, and its significance as a cultural phenomenon is probably greater than its importance as a video game.

When one thinks of doujin, one often thinks of comic books, and probably pornographic ones at that. Certainly fan-made comics are a huge part of this mass of culture worship – the attendance figures of Comiket are proof enough of that. However, doujin encompasses all forms of media, including figures. There are numerous fan-made figures, usually sold in very limited quantities as resin model kits. Preassembled figures, however, are quite rare; while it is not technically complicated to create a comic book or a music video, manufacturing a complete, painted figure seems to be beyond the means and ambitions of many creators.

However, there is one doujin circle that is known primarily for their PVC figures. Keumaya has been making their own figures since 2006 and selling them at conventions and on Toranoana. They’ve carved out a comfortable niche as an independent figure creator, which is quite impressive even without taking into account the quality of their products.
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The battle bikini is one of the most stereotypical tropes in fantasy art but if you ask me, it doesn’t get nearly as much appreciation these days as it should. For example, when Sega resurrected the Golden Axe franchise, they did the right thing in selecting Tyris Flare as the heroine but then they revealed an appallingly lowbrow taste by giving her pants. To be fair, her famous battle bikini is unlockable, and since the game seems to have been quite awful I doubt anybody else cares, but the mere option of pants still demonstrates the disrespect this timeless battle uniform receives. Also, when Wrath of the Lich King was released, Blizzard inexplicably made all of the armor sets as puritanical as could be, despite having gone entirely the other way when they designed The Burning Crusade. Now, one could argue that a battle bikini might provide inadequate protection in a frozen wasteland, but I have my doubts that a heavy suit of full plate is any more practical for trudging about in the arctic. Furthermore, if realism were really the name of the game, all of the characters would be wearing fur coats and mukluks, as even a full-body cast iron tuxedo ain’t going to protect nobody when a hundred foot-long dragon decides to step on you.

Fortunately, the beauty, utility, and elegance of this piece of equipment is still apparent and to that end, we have here an homage to the battle bikini in the form of Wind Goddess Rafale. I don’t see anything here that validates her divinity, but I will take the manufacturer’s claim for what it is worth.
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My last figure review covered a figure that evoked mixed feelings, so I thought that for my next writeup, I’d look at a figure that everyone can agree is the very epitome of class, a figure that is, without a doubt, fun and appropriate for people of all ages.
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We all have our dreams, things that we hope to do, things that we hope to become, things that we hope will come to be. For me, this figure represents the culmination of a dream that I’ve dreamt for a long time. It’s one that I always wished would be fulfilled but never really expected to. After waiting for so long, after holding out hope for so long, my dream has come true: I can finally say that I own a figure with a realistically-sculpted anus.
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With snow armageddon spreading across the entire east coast, I had some time to shoot some photos, so here’s a look at a figure that was released a few weeks ago. Risty is one of the original Queen’s Blade characters and is thus one of the franchise’s more prominent representatives, but this version is a bit atypical compared to its counterparts.
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I’ve got a backlog of figures to photograph, but I ran out of plaster cloth, so figure reviews are going to have to wait for a bit. In the meantime, let’s look at this pillowcase. Featured here is Ikkitousen’s it-girl Kanu Uncho on what is, to my knowledge, her fourth dakimakura. This one comes from Ensky, whom I’ve never heard of, and seems to have been exclusive to Hobby Search.
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Think of all the weird things that one instantly associates with Japanese culture. Wacky television game shows. Green tea-flavored Coke. Tentacle rape. What culture on this planet could spawn these things but the one that made eating raw fish not just mainstream but fashionable?

So when I saw this figure, it didn’t even faze me. If you’re at all familiar with Japanese pop culture, you take this sort of strangeness as a matter of course. Actually, the first thing I thought was that this figure looked really cute. Really shy. Like she’s hiding a secret. I guess that’s one way to put it.

Incidentally, if anybody reading this is looking for May Parker, this is not the Spider Girl that you’re looking for.
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Here is yet another manifestation of Kanu Unchou, the preeminent poster girl of the Ikkitousen franchise. Some people – probably a lot of people, actually – would say that Kanu is ridiculously overrepresented and that the plastic used to manufacture Kanu figures could be better used elsewhere. Like on that Black Rock Shooter girl, for instance. I wouldn’t be among them, myself; I like Kanu, I’ve liked Kanu since she first appeared in Battle Vixens. I initially thought Hakufu and Kaku Bunwa were going to be the series’ main characters, so I’m quite happy that Kanu has received the love that she has. While there are about a billion figures of her out there, this version of Kan-san is a little bit different than the rest.
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