HARUHI: Alright, since our last movie was so great, our next movie has to be even better! And we need to make sure that it appeals to the Americans.
KYON: Why America?
HARUHI: Because all the best movies are big in America! If we can make a movie that hits it big over there, we can expand the SOS Brigade overseas. We’ll start the SOS Brigade North American Division! I’ll still be the leader, of course.
KYON: … I see. And just what sort of movie are you planning to make?
HARUHI (pacing in a circle): It has to be profound. It has to speak to the cultural sensibilities of Americans. It has to emphasize their rich history, their resiliency, their unshakeable passion for freedom and their love for life. And it has to have sex. And lots of violence. And sex. (looks up) I’ve got it!
KYON (thinking): Oh no.
HARUHI: The movie will be called … “Mikuru Asahina in Escape from Guantanamo Bay!”
MIKURU: No!
