Numerous figures of the Queen’s Gate characters have been released, offering different takes on the characters depending on the artist that illustrated the respective game book. The Queen’s Gate version of Senhime, however is rather unusual in that she has no game book; her appearance is based off of a single illustration by the artist Yoshikazu Miwa. Perhaps better known by his doujin circle name Synthetic Garden, I’ve been a fan of his art for a long time, particularly because his work encompasses themes like tentacle hentai, girls in bondage, and girls with big breasts. He seems an unlikely choice to provide a Queen’s Gate illustration, particularly one of a character like Sen Tokugawa, and the resulting figure is one that comprises an unusual synthesis that is much more about his style and much less about the anime character.

Several different manufacturers have made Queen’s Gate products, but this one comes from MegaHouse, the most prolific maker of Queen’s Blade and Queen’s Gate figures. Sculpted in 1/8 scale, she’s about 14 centimeters tall. Proportionally, I would say she’s about in line with most of Alter’s 1/8 scale figures, perhaps even a bit larger. She comes with a purple-painted plastic base – which obviously isn’t necessary to keep her upright – and an unusual segmented weapon rather than her more familiar Japanese-style spear.

I hesitated when I ordered this figure, and not solely because she was a Hobby Japan exclusive and thus necessitated going through a proxy to purchase. Rather, my trepidation spawned from the first impression she delivered, in which her head appeared to be melting. Her suspiciously leprotic appearance was discouraging, to say the least – and yet, I still felt compelled to buy her, even without knowing whether the initial sample was just a hastily-assembled prototype. This compulsion – chiefly guided by my enthusiasm for Miwa’s artwork – was at odds with my usual buying practice. With almost every other purchase I make, I perform a huge amount of research, sometimes weeks of it. I seldom buy a book or movie or video game without first consulting multiple reviews. I don’t buy computer or camera equipment without checking the tech forums I follow for user experiences. But when it comes to figures, I have no problem at all plonking out the skrills despite having no idea whether I’ll actually like the figure. I have to imagine that anyone uninvested in this hobby would be utterly appalled at the ease with which I – and numerous other collectors – shell out $100 or $150 a pop with no certainty that it’s going to be any good.

Happily, Senhime’s face is much improved, at least in a technical sense. The sculptor has done a fine job of translating Miwa’s style, and she has the somewhat blank, vaguely sad expression common to much of his work. This look is also visible in Solid Theater’s String Swimsuit Girl figure, which came out back in 2008 and I think was the first figure based off of his art.

While the faces he draws are easily identifiable, he’s also known for drawing pictures of girls with humongous breasts, and this version of Senhime does not disappoint in that respect, as suffice to say, she has a big-ass rack. Her breasts look larger than they actually are, since her top is removable and her breasts appear very large but not significantly larger than the chests of many other anime characters. But for anyone wanting to display her clothed, her chest is gargantuan and I could see that being a turn-off amongst some collectors.

The original version of Senhime wore an outfit comprising a blend of a traditional kimono and a Japanese schoolgirl uniform, but this version wears a crop top with some kind of corset. Taken together, her outfit resembles a short-sleeved leotard or bodysuit. She also has a beltskirt to provide some backside modesty and another rope belt which is strictly ornamental, being that she has no pants that need holding up.

Like many of MegaHouse’s Queen’s Blade and Queen’s Gate figures, Sen’s clothing can be removed by disassembling the figure. Taking her apart and putting her back together isn’t too difficult, though getting her upper and lower torso reattached does take a good bit of force to pop the pieces together. Pegs are provided on the back of her shirt to hold it together, but I couldn’t fit them together – indeed, they weren’t attached when I took her out of her box – and in the end I decided not to stress over it. I’m not going to be displaying her with her back turned to the front, anyway.

Without her top, her breasts aren’t quite as intimidating. They’re still big, but not as unrealistic as they appear while she is clothed.

The bottom of her suit has this curious circular cutout. It looks like she had some sort of wardrobe malfunction where the seat of her clothes got torn, but a closer look reveals that the cutout is actually part of its design. Quite odd.

A close-up look reveals a few manufacturing flaws, including a black speck on the inside of her right arm, a seam line under her breast and some odd gunk near her groin, in the fold of her right leg. It also shows the loving detail of her crotch. Nice touch.

Instead of a long spear, Queen’s Gate Sen gets a segmented bladed weapon. The core is made of flexible metal wire, allowing the weapon to be bent into any desired position. I’m not sure how durable the wire is, though, and I’m not planning on testing how much bending it can take before fracturing.

The blade of her weapon, which is nicely detailed.

As is her suit, which is reminiscent of the floral patterns on the original Senhime’s robe.

This version of Sen Tokugawa is a strange one, one that is doubly divorced from the anime character’s design. Her clothing, weapon, and even hair color have been changed from Niθ’s original concept, and the basic design is much more reflective of Yoshikazu Miwa’s artwork, so much so that this figure almost represents a whole new character. Placed side by side with Alter’s figure, they look almost nothing alike.

However, as much as I like Sen Tokugawa’s original design, I think I like this version better. A large part of that is my fondness for Synthetic Garden’s doujinshi, of which I own a few, but I think the combination of Miwa’s style, Senhime’s revealing clothing, her unusual weapon – and okay, her humongous tits – give the character a very unique look. I wasn’t confident at all that this figure was going to be any good, but now that I’ve taken her out of her box, I’m quite pleased with how it turned out.

Here’s Alter’s Sen with MegaHouse’s Sen, showing the major differences between them.

And here’s Queen’s Gate Senhime with Queen’s Gate Yagyu Jubei. Same manufacturer, same series, same listed scale size, but very different body shapes. Although the characters had similar heights and body builds in the anime, Queen’s Gate Jubei looks like a waif next to Synthetic Garden Sen.

Doujinshi time! Here’s a few of the Synthetic Garden books I own. Miwa often collaborates with another artist named Blade, whose circle is named Galaxist. They’re sort of an odd couple in doujinshi – Miwa often draws full-figured, big-breasted girls and Blade almost always draws very young-looking, flat-chested girls. Nonetheless, they do share a fondness for drawing tentacle hentai, a suggestion that a love of tentacles can overcome all differences.

Here’s an indication that I ought to check which doujinshi I already own before ordering books.

Back to the top

Anybody who’s read this site for a while knows that I like ero figures. And anybody who’s read this site for a while knows that I like big figures. Unfortunately, few figure manufacturers have made big ero figures – at least until recently. However, FREEing has stepped up to the plate to fill this niche, which is quite gratifying, particularly when the figure is as nice as Amane is.

Amane Shiratori is the lead girl from the h-game Anata no Shiranai Kangofu, or The Nurse You Don’t Know. Featuring artwork by Toshihide Sano, Good Smile Company’s product page describes her as the “heroine” but from what I can tell, she appears to be more rapebait than a heroine. The game received an anime adaptation courtesy of Milky Animation, and she’s now gotten a couple of figures – this one, a recolored version of this figure with a pink dress, and the older figure sculpted by Vispo. Warning: that link leads to some terrible pictures.

This figure is manufactured by FREEing, one of the companies under Good Smile Company’s aegis. Sculpted in a mighty 1/4 scale – God’s scale – she stands an impressive 35 centimeters tall, including her nurse cap. She comes with a bevy of accessories, including a telescoping hospital stand, a couple of plastic fluid packs, and surgical tubing.

Any discussion about this figure ought to begin with its size. Not many companies make 1/4 scale figures with any regularity, and even fewer make ero figures in that size, but happily, FREEing is filling that void with this figure and a couple of 1/4 scale figures of the Freezing girls. Amane is a huge figure with considerable shelf presence, particularly given her quality. Her size is also a drawback, however; she is, unsurprisingly, quite a heavy figure and because she attaches to her base by only one foot, her weight is leaning her towards her right side. I noticed the sole of her sandal has partially detached and since that foot is bearing all her weight, I’m going to have to repair that before it becomes a big problem.

FREEing has done an excellent job giving her a very sexy body sculpt. She’s full-figured with an adult body build rather than the teenaged – or primary school – look so common in anime. She looks like an attractive young woman, which is something I appreciate since even I sometimes feel really weird ogling anime girls that are ostensibly half my age.

Even though she, well, looks really slutty, with her tits and ass hanging right out for everyone to gawk at, the demure and friendly look on her face diverts attention from her lewd parts. But once your gaze moves part her tranquil look, it’s hard not to notice her tits and ass. Her breasts are large and the band-aids covering them up are removable. Her nipples don’t stand out much, though, thanks to a rather reserved point job. Her ass, however, is sublime. Manufacturers often give short shrift to the backsides of their girly figures but FREEing has done a commendable job with Amane’s rear. She’s got some odd-colored panties, though; they’re not quite white and not quite purple.

Her paint quality is less impressive, unfortunately. Her skin tone is quite flat, the same problem that seems to afflict Satellizer – though I wouldn’t know for sure since I haven’t taken her out of her box yet. It’s particularly noticeable on her face because the prototype figure had an attractive blush that the production figure lacks. I was quite disappointed by its disappearance at first but now, I guess it doesn’t bother me as much – her face takes on a different feel, with her apparent shyness replaced by serenity, which isn’t a bad change, per se.

One of the trademark aspect of Sano’s style is the inclusion of lips, which is rare to see in anime-style artwork and so makes his work easily recognizable. Amane’s lips are slightly parted, as if expressing surprise or starting to say something. It adds a bit to her personality, although I’m not exactly sure what.

Amane comes with a few display options. Her nurse cap is attached via a magnet in her head and is thus easily removable.

She also comes with glasses, as she also appears in some of the game graphics.

Many figures with glasses have empty frames, but in a very nice touch, Amane’s have plastic lenses.

The hospital stand telescopes to its full height. I didn’t take any pictures of the fluid packs but if you really want to see them, you can look at the official photo. A couple of lengths of surgical tubing extend out from them and dangle on the floor.

And of course, her dress is removable. Her castoff system isn’t too complicated, being that she’s not wearing a lot to start with, but it still took quite a bit of effort to get her dress over the stump of her right shoulder.

Many figures with castoff options have a peculiarly emaciated look when stripped of their clothes, and Amane isn’t an exception. Her waist is very pinched and her neck is conspicuously elongated. It’s clear that FREEing prioritized making her look good while clothed so while I like the idea of Amane clad only in her panties, I’m going to keep her dresesd. It’s not like her dress covers a whole lot, anyway.

For those collectors who wish to display her without clothes, FREEing thoughtfully includes a couple of lacy bands to cover up the detachment points of her upper arms. Speaking of lacy stuff, her stockings are made of lacy fishnet fabric material, which looks quite nice. Like real stockings, they tend to slip down her legs, though.

FREEing’s Amane Shiratori was a figure I was looking forward to ever since she debuted at Wonder Festival and I’m very pleased with how she turned out. A bit more body and facial blushing would have been welcome but even without, her massive size elevates her from a fine figure to a spectacular one. She manages to look respectable and affable even while being essentially half-nude, and her sexiness complements rather than overwhelms her agreeable expression. It’s still early in the year but I think Amane is already a solid candidate to end up in my five favorite figures list in December.

Here’s FREEing’s Amane with the Vispo-sculpted figure by Questioners. The older figure was one of my favorites but I don’t think it’s held up all that well with all the high-quality figures coming out these days.

Here’s how Amane looks in the game. The game has lots of good stuff, like bondage rape, gang rape, electrical rape, rape with toys …

And rape with medical devices, as this screencap from the anime shows. What’s up with Amane’s feet, though?

However, the series lacks the best kind of rape, which of course is tentacle rape. That’s a bit of a shame since tentacle rape improves any anime.

Back to the top

One of the first anime figures I ever bought was Alpha’s Motoko Kusanagi Hard Disk Version. It’s cheaply-made and primitive by today’s standards, and it’s not a scale-size figure, but even so, I still like it, mainly because I like the character design. Scantily-clad female combat androids are a staple of science fiction anime and video games and, having grown up on that stuff, it’s a theme I like a lot. I hesitated for just a moment on ordering Lacia, since Good Smile Company sold this figure only through their online store and I always consider twice when it comes to paying for a figure up-front. However, after seeing her preview pictures, I felt that this was going to be a fine figure, and now that it’s here, my esteem for her has only grown.

Lacia is a character from BEATLESS, a light novel written by Satoshi Hase and illustrated by redjuice, who also designed Good Smile Company’s Racing Miku figure last year. The name of the series may refer to the fact that Lacia is an android who presumably lacks a heart and circulatory system. I think this figure was the first scale-size figure to be sold through Good Smile Company’s online store and this was my first shopping experience with them. Happily, the ordering and shipping process both went smoothly, unlike some customers’ experiences with one of their earthquake relief nendoroids.

Lacia is a 1/8 scale figure, albeit rather on the small end of that size. She’s about 18 centimeters tall but still takes up a large amount of space due to the impressive device she holds. In total, the figure is around 27 centimeters tall and 23 centimeters long.

The figure comes mostly ready for display, with just four pylons needing to be attached to the device. I had a good deal of difficulty fitting them, but they do stay secure if you attach them correctly, and I probably wasn’t lining them up correctly in the first place. Lacia herself attaches to her base via a single socket in her right foot, which is worrisome since she’s the heaviest part of the assembly. Hopefully that won’t develop into an issue in the future.

Lacia has a lot of cool points about her. Let’s start with the outfit: some thigh-high socks and a high-tech leotard adorned with panel lines comprise her costume. Her socks and sleeves are less elaborate but are painted in a high-gloss black, lending some fetishistic appeal to her image. Accentuating the sensuality of her design are her high heels, which seem grossly incongruous but look fantastic anyway.

Her face does not reveal much, as might be expected for a combat android. She’s quite pretty regardless, with a cold, intimidating, hypnotic gaze. I wonder if it would have been better if they had given her lips, though; her mouth looks a bit like an open slash through her face and maybe lips would’ve softened the comparison. Also, Lacia is plainly similar to Inori Yuzuriha, another of redjuice’s creations, and that character’s anime design has some very sexy lips.

Her base is a faceted piece of matte black plastic, which calls to mind the shape of a stealth fighter. Her device – called the Black Monolith – comes attached to it. Set behind its wielder, it delivers an ominous impression, its sharply-raked angles and abstract formlessness contrasting with the femininity of Lacia’s softly curved body as well as her impassivity.

And though Lacia’s pose is in itself collected and imperturbed, the angles of her body and the Black Monolith effect a dynamic look that generates a sense of energy about her. This is a common theme in redjuice’s artwork as well; for example, in Stupid Missiles – the first picture of his that I ever saw and still one of my favorites – the diagonal lines of the terrain and in the sky and the slant of the structures in the distance establish a feeling of tension and dynamism, even though the main subjects of the work are just sitting or standing around.

The ornate mechanical parts encircling her hips can be removed if desired; her left leg detaches so that they can be pulled off. Normally I would remove them, as I do with most of my figures where the opportunity exists to expose their crotches or backsides, but in this case, she seems less special somehow without them, so she’ll be keeping them on.

As befits a figure sold exclusively through Good Smile Company’s shop, Lacia’s packaging gets the VIP treatment; she comes in a neat black box which also includes this handsome book, ostensibly her owner’s manual. It contains some artwork by redjuice, including concept sketches for Lacia’s design, some background information regarding both the BEATLESS project and the design process of this figure, and an excerpt from the BEATLESS novel, which unfortunately is the only thing an English translation isn’t provided for.

The book of course includes the artwork which this figure was based off of. It also gives some explanation regarding Lacia’s history, her status as an hIE – or humanoid Interface Element – and some miscellaneous trivia about her – such as the fact that she needs to be kept moist and that ownership is established by inserting a finger into her Owner’s Recognition Unit. I like where this is going.

This is her device, a “huge black lump.” It is said that only her owner can unlock the full potential of this device. I think I’ve heard that before …

Lacia and buddies … that dude looks like someone I may have seen before … maybe in a recent anime …

Some preliminary sketches of Lacia. I kind of like this design; the long sleeves are pretty cool, as is the long hair.

Click for Deviantart.

Also included in the book is this image of Lacia. It’s very cool, particularly how Lacia’s wings are emerging from her ass rather than her back. Nothing wrong with upending convention from time to time.

And one last note: Lacia’s backside is really cute. No wings are provided, though.

Lacia is a great figure, one that I’m very happy to own. Her design is one that fans of sci-fi anime will find familiar, and combined with redjuice’s prowess, is very appealing. And while her youthful appearance is captivating, the Black Monolith is eye-catching in its angular menace and balances Lacia’s attractiveness. Though Lacia’s design is reminiscent of other characters from the genre – particularly Motoko Kusanagi, whose color palette she shares in large part – there aren’t many figures that look like this one, and this distinctiveness combined with her excellent design and Good Smile Company’s quality make this a fine figure indeed.

Back to the top

Alter kicked off 2011 with Fate Testarossa and yet another figure of the blonde mage is among those that will close this year. In fact, Alter released five figures of Fate in 2011 alone, demonstrating that she is one of their favorite characters. Their love affair with the lightning wizard will surely continue unabated, as Magical Record Lyrical Nanoha Force is still untapped and more significantly, the second movie is on the way, with a new costume for Fate. Admittedly, it looks quite like her old costume with just a few changes but that certainly will not deter figure makers and Fate’s fans will certainly not object.

All of Alter’s recent Fate figures have been sculpted in 1/7 scale and this one is no different. The distance between the base and the highest part of Fate’s hand is about 23.5 centimeters, so the figure is reasonably large. She comes with a white plastic base that lacks the famous Engrish that Alter provided on the StrikerS figure bases.

This figure is labeled as coming from the first Nanoha film. It’s been a while since I watched it but I really don’t remember Fate ever wearing a bikini in the movie. Nor do I remember her smiling much and to be honest, it’s a bit strange seeing Fate smiling here. She’s a gloomy girl and for good reason – she goes to work and gets beat up by Nanoha, and then she comes home and gets beat up by her mom. She doesn’t have a lot to be happy about. And she certainly doesn’t have time to be going to the beach.

Apropos or not, she’s wearing a swimsuit, which is quite cute. It reminds me a lot of Alter’s old swimsuit Saber figure, with the same white color and even a similar low-rise style. I would’ve taken pictures of them together except my Saber figure snapped its base pegs years ago and I haven’t fixed that yet.

While her bikini is cute, I wouldn’t say that it’s particularly flattering on her, since she’s got the body build of a very young girl. That’s no surprise, of course, being that Fate is nine years old here, but she doesn’t have much in the way of a sharply defined waist or curvy hips. Strictly speaking, neither does the Phantom Minds figure, but although both Fates have the same physique, that figure has a sleeker look, probably because she’s wrapped in glossy black latex.

Curiously, her bikini buttom is cut more conservatively than her usual barrier jacket outfit. It kinda feels like it should be more revealing; Fate’s backside is one of the reasons people watch the show in the first place and maybe it should have been given more prominence here.

Alter almost never offers a castoff option on their figures, but Fate is an exception to the rule. She comes with a shawl – a pareo, I guess – that fits around her hips. She separates at the waist, right at the waistband of her swimsuit. It’s a very common castoff method but Alter thoughtfully provides an instruction sheet just in case anyone is unfamiliar with the procedure.

Although happiness doesn’t seem to fit Fate, it’s still a pleasing look. Perhaps it marginalizes some of the distinguishing – and attractive – aspects of Fate’s personality, but I suppose a sad frown and a bikini don’t mix all that well. Her pose complements her happy look as well; I’m not sure if she’s jumping or hovering but whatever she’s doing, she looks energetic and lively, with Bardiche in one hand. It’s a good thing she’s flashing Bardiche for everyone to see, since a cynic might note that that’s the only way you’d be able to tell for sure that this is Fate, with many of her characteristic qualities removed.

I really like the way Fate’s hair is sculpted, with her twintails splayed out and sinuous like tentacles. It enhances the effervescence and vibrance of her appearance and generates a bit of excitement that is otherwise hard to find in a swimsuit figure.

But not a lot of excitement and I have to admit, this is not the most dynamic or visually impressive Fate figure around, particularly compared to Alter’s barrier jacket Fate figures. Regardless, I do like this figure – principally because I like Fate, to be sure, and I am predisposed to like every Fate figure that exists, but I think it has a good deal of appeal on its own merits. Fate is quite cute, she seems happy, and her pose is interesting. It would’ve been nice if her bikini were a bit more alluring, but I suppose we can’t have everything. I think Fate fans will be happy to own this figure and non-Fate fans – or Fate fans who feel no compulsion to buy more than one or two figures of her – will be happy to skip this one, and thus everyone will be as happy as Fate is.

It’s curious that Alter released this figure of loli Fate, and then scheduled a swimsuit figure of Nanoha from StrikerS. One wonders if they’ll do a matching loli Nanoha or adult Fate; I’m guessing the latter is more likely. It’s going to be sort of strange having a swimsuit figure of nine year old Fate next to a swimsuit figure of nineteen year old Nanoha.

Back to the top

Miku Hatsune’s popularity among figure collectors is ascendant, and though it seemed like she would have to share the 2011 hobby spotlight with Tamaki Kousaka and Super Sonico, most of Sonico’s figures won’t be coming out until next year and many of this year’s Tamaki figures are manifestly forgettable, leaving no competition to contest Miku’s prominence. From her humble origin as an image character of a niche software package, she has become a titan of commercialization, appearing not only in her own games but also games such as Pangya Fantasy Golf and the PlayStation 3 port of Idolmaster 2, becoming the mascot of Good Smile Racing, and selling Toyota automobiles. And of course, she’s gotten figures – not just numerous figures, but a numerous variety of figures. A few years ago, one could justifiably complain that Miku figures all looked alike – Good Smile Company’s Miku looked very much like Volks’s Miku which looked very much like Max Factory’s Miku. However, in recent times, figure makers have offered new takes on the Vocaloid mascot, casting her as a sort of warrior clad in robotic armor and as a pit crew worker. Even more conventional takes on the character, such as Good Smile Company’s Lat-type figure and Max Factory’s Tony Taka-designed figure present distinctive poses and facial expressions. The latest Miku figure to be released is perhaps the most distinctive yet, but whether that’s a good thing is debatable. Let’s take a closer look at it.

Miku Hatsune is, of course, the most well-known mascot of the Vocaloid voice synthesis software. The most familiar version of Miku has her wearing a blouse and skirt ensemble akin to the archetypical Japanese school uniform, but Miku Append retains only her green eyes and hairstyle, exchanging her seifuku-inspired clothing for a more futuristic and more revealing outfit. Her hair is typically colored in a lighter shade of green, and she discards her unique gunmetal-and-black tones for a starker black-and-white color scheme.

This figure is manufactured by Max Factory, and though she’s nominally listed as 1/8 scale, she’s considerably smaller than most 1/8 scale figures. The figure itself is about 17 centimeters tall from feet to the top of her head, and about 30 centimeters tall overall.

Despite her small size, she still effects a striking visual presence. Everything about this figure is intended to deliver a sense of weightlessness and tranquillity. A pylon made of transparent plastic suspends her in midair and though it wobbles a bit, I had no problems suspending her upside down with adhesive tape and dumping water on her, so I think the strut is stable enough.

Perhaps the most eyecatching element of this figure are Miku’s twintails, which sweep upwards in a majestic arc. Their opacity fades to transparency towards the tips, accentuating her futuristic look. The rest of her hair is colored in a pastel sea green color, anesthetizing rather than stimulating, complementing her placid expression.

Though her outfit is not particularly ornate or complex, it still generates a great deal of visual interest, perhaps because it is difficult to classify at first glance. Indeed, the promo photos made it ambiguous as to whether anything covers her crotch, but in person, it’s easy to tell that she’s wearing a sleeveless leotard. Analogous to original Miku’s necktie, a sliver of her suit floats in front of her, revealing her navel and a swath of skin that plunges far down her torso, adding a spicy sexiness to her look that some may welcome and that others may find crass or gratuitous. Her waist is encircled by a sort of mechanical belt which offers a modicum of modesty and provides a convenient attachment point for her pylon, and her ensemble is completed by gloves which sheathe only her middle fingers and by thigh-high socks which leave her feet bare. Her bare feet make a strong impression on me, and I’m not entirely certain why, but for some reason, they seem to give her an ineffable, meditative, almost transcendant look that I can’t quite explain.

Although Miku Append is not a large figure, there are some remarkable details, including the tattoo on her left arm, which writes her name in letters that are a fraction of a millimeter in height. Similarly, there is writing on the sides of her leotard that is not legible by eye but is readable through a macro lens.

Despite the dynamic lift of her hair and her ethereal pose, Miku evinces a strong sense of serenity. From the front, the downward positioning of her fingers and toes give a feeling of inertness, with almost no tension evident in her body posture. Her expression also appears languid and distant, almost otherworldly.

From the side, the apparent verticality of her pose gives way to a more dynamic look, thanks to the strong arch of her back. The femininity of her body is also more noticeable, particularly in her small and pointed breasts and narrow waist. From this angle, her eyes are often partially obscured as well, giving this figure a slightly different feel.

Which brings us back to her face, which is almost certainly the most controversial aspect of this figure. The design of her face strongly differs from other figures of Miku; indeed, it departs from conventional anime-styled design. Her head is wedge-shaped, almost cat-like, giving her a disturbingly inhuman look, particularly viewed straight-on. Her chin is prominent and pointed, emphasized by the strong rake of her jaw. With her sharp features and steady gaze, it’s no wonder that the reaction to this figure is equivocal.

I think this figure is best viewed from an angle and a bit from above; such a viewpoint masks some of the more contentious aspects of her face and also reveals the sexy curve of her back.

A curious aspect of this figure is a hinge where her pylon slots into her belt; this lets you pivot the figure horizontal if you so desire. I have no idea if the hinge is strong enough to support her weight for an extended period of time, though, and my guess is that it isn’t.

Miku Append made her debut a while ago, and anticipation amongst figure collectors built up as she was exhibited at successive conventions, but now that she’s released, her welcome hasn’t been as warm as expected. Though I like this figure, I can’t say it’s a flawless figure; her triangular face is the chief concern, and while I don’t dislike it, I can understand why it could dissuade some collectors who might otherwise purchase this figure. Her small size is also a bit disappointing, though not entirely unexpected because VN02 Miku was also rather small. However, unlike mecha Miku, Miku Append was relatively inexpensive, at least by figure standards.

I think Miku Append has a lot of things going for her. For one, her design goes against convention and it’s difficult to see Miku Append having the same sort of mainstream success and crossover appeal that the regular Miku Hatsune has had, and that’s something that I approve of. For another, her design is considerably more erotic than the regular Miku Hatsune’s design, and that’s also something I appreciate. And I like the sci-fi, futuristic elements of her look, which are quite unique. Finally, she was a lot of fun to photograph – a lot of work, but a lot of fun, and a photogenic figure tends to rise in my esteem. Not everyone will like this figure, and justifiably so, but I like Miku Append, more than I thought that I would.

Back to the top

Ming Yue is the latest figure in E2046′s ORI series. Probably best known for making prepainted figures of recast resin, E2046 also sculpts their own figures, which they label their ORI lineup. Many of their figures feature female fighters, and while Ming Yue doesn’t appear ready to throw down, she belongs to the same fictional universe as figures like Jian Xue. These figures belong to the “Elegance” subgroup within E2046′s ORI product section, and that’s a fitting name since Ming Yue is elegant indeed.

Ming Yue is sculpted in 1/6 scale and stands about 32 centimeters tall from the surface of her base to the farthest part of her left sleeve, making her a fairly sizeable figure. Unlike Jian Xue, she doesn’t get a special base; she just gets a painted black slab with a blue Gathering logo, Gathering being E2046′s label for prepainted figures. She’s held up by a single piece of stiff metal wire that slots into a hole drilled into her knee. The wire has a couple of horseshoe-shaped curves and a good deal of springiness so that she freely vibrates from side to side. That doesn’t impart a great deal of confidence in her stability, but although her placement appears precarious, she seems to hold up okay.

Her pose is undoubtedly one of the most striking and appealing aspects of this figure. Captured in midair, she displays a vivid sense of energy and movement. The precise positioning of her arms and legs lend an air of grace to her look. In addition, even though this is a very dynamic sculpt, there’s a strong balance to her pose, with her arms stretched opposite to her tentacle-like tendrils of hair and with her gaze focused away from the direction of her leap.

Her facial expression also presents a contrast to her pose. The look of her face is serene and composed, almost trance-like, which accentuates the elegance of her dance. Taken as a whole, she appears very poised and radiates competence, despite the undeniable sensuality effected by her revealing outfit.

Close up, or through a macro lens, her eyes look a bit crossed when viewing her face straight-on. A snarky person might also say she perhaps looked stoned – though I suppose that’s a trance-like state of its own. At any rate, I am not snarky. Not in the least.

Ming Yue’s outfit combines traditional Chinese styling with contemporary sensibilities. Sexy and intricately detailed, she shows a lot of skin but still appears dignified.

I know there’s at least one person who wants to ask, so I’ll preempt the question and answer that her panties are also colored yellow.

This figure is hand-painted, and E2046 has done a fine job with it, despite the intricacy of her clothing. She arrived intact, which was mildly surprising since I’ve had a number of polystone and resin figures that have suffered damage in transit. Most of those figures have been from Volks, though; I’ve only had one E2046 figure that was damaged during shipment, though I know several people who’ve received broken figures. Some minor assembly is required to put her together, which isn’t too difficult. Unlike some of their figures, no magnets are included in her construction. That’s a slight shame since they would’ve been helpful to hold the two tails dangling off the front of her loincloth, which are prone to falling off.

Overall, Ming Yue is a beautiful figure that is a pleasure to view. An exquisite combination of elegance and sexiness, her look is arresting and the energy she portrays is captivating. I’m very happy to own her; I just need to find a space on the shelf where she won’t get shaken.

I bought E2046′s Saber figure a while back but I haven’t reviewed her and I’m not sure if I’m going to. On one hand, I think it’s a neat figure. On the other hand, it looks fairly ridiculous. On the third hand, one might say that Saber Extra is also a bit out there, and Saber Bride borders on ludicrous, so I’m not sure that that’s an important consideration anymore.

Back to the top

There ought to be more figures of fighting game characters, and of the fighting game characters who deserves figures, Ivy Valentine should be near the top of the list. She has one of the most easily-identifiable designs in fighting games, she is one of the mainstays of one of the best fighting game franchises in existence, and yet, only three or four figures have ever been made of her, and one of those is from Todd McFarlane’s toy company. Fortunately for Ivy fans, Hobby Japan has recently shipped a brand new figure of her as part of their Queen’s Gate figure lineup. Unfortunately, it’s not quite as good as one might have hoped for.

Isabella Valentine is one of the stalwarts of the Soul franchise, having appeared in all of the games since Soul Calibur. Perhaps the preeminent bad girl in all of video games, she cedes leading-lady responsibilites to Sophitia and maybe Taki but nonetheless, she is probably one of the franchise’s best-known characters.

To the uninitiated, fighting games all look alike, but many of the series in the genre have a unique aspect or ethos to their design that sets them apart from one another. Mortal Kombat is about over-the-top gore. Guilty Gear and BlazBlue enbrace the bizarre (and rock music). Dead or Alive is completely shameless. And Soul Calibur seems to have a level of dignity, a certain gravity that distinguishes it from other fighting games. Thus, when I heard that Ivy and Taki were going to appear in Queen’s Gate books, I thought that was weird as hell because the Queen’s Blade and Queen’s Gate series are anything but dignified.

On the other hand, if any Soul Calibur were to appear in a Queen’s Gate book, Ivy would probably make the most sense. The Queen’s Blade franchise revels in excess, pushing the boundaries as much as it can without becoming full-blown hentai. Similarly, Ivy encompasses lewdness and her design borders on absurd. She has the mannerisms of a dominatrix, several highly suggestive moves, and a costume that’s become more abbreviated with every iteration of the game – though lamentably, the fifth game reverses this trend. Such a shame.

This figure is manufactured by Hobby Japan and, as its name implies, was sold only in Japan, and so required a proxy service to purchase. She’s nominally sculpted in 1/8 scale and stands about 18.5 centimeters tall to the top of her head. Her character bio lists her height as 179 centimeters, so she’s really closer to 1/10 scale. She’s notably smaller than almost every other 1/8 scale figure out there, including most of the other Queen’s Gate figures and just about all of MegaHouse’s 1/8 scale Queen’s Blade figures, which is rather disappointing.

Click for Danbooru.

One interesting design choice is that the sculptor based this figure off of her normal appearance rather than how she looked in her Queen’s Gate book. Her artbook – illustrated by Nigou, a member of the very well-known hentai art circle Lolita Channel – diverges from her canon look in favor of a far more anime-esque design. It’s about as moe as Ivy can possibly look.

Ivy is depicted in a confident stance, her whip-sword raised. She looks a bit awkward, with her right arm raised and her right leg extended. Her right side looks like she’s about to thrash someone and her left side looks like she’s striking a sexy pose. Movement and aggression are apparent and yet, the figure has a very stiff, static look. It just doesn’t seem to come together very well.

Though this figure is rather small, Ivy is quite detailed. Her armor has all the requisite embossing, the leather parts of her clothes feature stitch lines, and the straps of her suit pinch into her skin. Ivy’s Soul Calibur IV outfit is fantastic and overall, it is rendered very well here.

Similarly, Ivy’s paint job is quite attractive. The purple parts of her clothes feature an appealing metallic sheen, and her armored pauldron and gauntlet sport a dull finish, giving them an old and antique look.

Several aspects of her face doesn’t fare quite as well, however. The sculpting of her bangs is rather ragged – though admittedly, given Ivy’s small size, it’s doubtful anybody’s going to notice unless they are nose-to-nose with her. In addition, her look is a bit blank; she doesn’t have the psychotic look she has in the video games nor the moe-fied cute look she has in her game book.

Ivy comes with a sword blade if one would prefer not to display her with her whip-sword. It looks really weird with her pose. I think the whip-sword is much more appropriate. Unfortunately, the whip-sword seems to be made of wire and doesn’t stay coiled very well. A peculiar orange part is provided to install on her base to brace the tip of her whip against.

I think my biggest beef with this figure is that I wish it were better. There aren’t many figures of Ivy – or Soul Calibur figures – and as one of the most iconic and recognizable characters in all of video games, there was an opportunity to make a really special figure here. Just making it an actual 1/8 scale figure would have greatly improved it, and while I’m fantasizing, a more dynamic pose and a more evocative facial expression would have been nice, too. That said, beggars can hardly be choosers, and if one really desires a figure of Ivy Valentine, pickings are very slim. I wish I could tell you that there’s a better figure of her out there, but I’d be lying if I said so.

Here’s Ivy next to Queen’s Gate Junko Hattori. Junko is manufactured by a different company but even so, the difference in size is readily apparent, despite both figures being listed as 1/8 scale. Junko is about as tall as Ivy even though her leg is splayed out nearly horizontally.

And here is Ivy with fellow Queen’s Gate member Dizzy, though this version is Alter’s version rather than Kotobukiya’s version. Both of these characters appeared in the recent PSP game Queen’s Gate Spiral Chaos. Note that while Alter’s Dizzy is also a bit smaller than actual 1/8 scale, she’s still noticeably larger than Ivy.

“That face! I get goose bumps just looking at it. If you’ll only keep showing it to me, I’ll tease and bully you as much as your heart desires.”

Two fighting game girls who don’t mind showing their behinds.

I’ll shamelessly admit that when it comes to fighting games, I tend to choose the most attractive – and often most scantily-clad – female character. I think pretty much the only exception is in King of Fighters, where Iori is my favorite character to use (though Mai is obviously my favorite character to look at), and maybe Street Fighter, where I mostly use the shotokan characters because I suck at the game and Ryu and Akuma are easy to play. However, I hardly ever use Ivy in Soul Calibur, mostly because I never got the hang of switching between her weapon forms. I like to play as Seung Mina, since she’s not hard to use and her Opening Treasure move is one of the best moves in all of fighting games.

Incidentally, isn’t the internet amazing? I was wondering if anybody had recorded a video of that move, and I was thinking that it’d be great if somebody could show it being performed on female characters. And so someone has!

While it’s great seeing these famous female fighters get figures, I’m kinda hoping somebody does a figure of Mars People one of these days.

Back to the top

Despite not being particularly religious, I always like to play as a paladin in role-playing games. I’ve always admired the ethos of the paladin: the self-sacrificing knight devoted to justice and charity. My party leader in the Bard’s Tale games was always a paladin. My Baldur’s Gate parties always had two paladins – my player character and Ajantis in the first game and Keldorn in the second. I played a paladin in EverQuest despite the hindrance of the hybrid experience penalty. I stayed away from World of Warcraft for years because I was told that paladins were only good for healing and I didn’t care to spend my game time staring at a CTRaid status window while mindlessly spamming the Decursive key (I wound up doing that after I bought the game, anyway). When Volks announced that their Sasara figure was called the “paladin” version, my curiosity was piqued, and when I saw the promo pictures, my interest was confirmed. I had some slight misgivings because Volks’s Moekore figures tend to not feature the cleanest production quality, but I figured Sasara looked good enough that I wouldn’t care. I figured correctly, because pally Sasara is a very impressive figure indeed.

Sasara Kusugawa is a relatively recent addition to the expansive cast of To Heart. She first appeared in To Heart 2 XRATED, the PC port of the original title, and has swiftly become one of the franchise’s most popular characters. This particular figure is derived from her appearance in To Heart 2: Dungoen Travelers, the PSP adaptation of Final Dragon Chronicle: Guilty Requiem. Kotobukiya has released several figures of characters from that series, including samurai Tamaki, and Volks has a figure of valkyrie Tamaki and bishop Manaka. An OVA of Dungeon Travelers is scheduled for release next February. And if you like seeing the To Heart characters in oddball games, Aquaplus also published the Examu-developed crossover fighting game Aquapazza, starring various characters from To Heart, Utawarerumono, Tears to Tiara, and other Leaf games. Here’s the debut trailer. Unfortunately, Sasara doesn’t appear in the game, nor Buddy or any of the characters from Kimi ga Yobu, Megido no Oka de.

This figure was, like all of Volks’s figures, sold only in Japan, which necessitated an additional expense to procure it. Sasara is sculpted in 1/8 scale and stands about 21.5 centimeters tall, making her appear quite large relative to other 1/8 scale figures. She’s about comparable in size to Alter’s 1/8 scale sculpts and is noticeably larger than Kotobukiya’s samurai Tamaki figure.

She comes with an oval base and sword and board. Her weapon fits easily into her hand – a happy change from how difficult it was to get Kaguya Nanbu equipped – and her left hand detaches to get her shield onto her forearm, making setup a very simple affair.

Every good pally requires appropriate equipment. Sasara’s arms and armor comprise a broadsword – rather plasticky-looking, unfortunately – and some very fetching white enamelled plate. Her design keeps troth with female warrior convention in fantasy art – though her limbs are encased in armor, her torso is basically protected by a plate brassiere. Her accoutrements include a red dress with a plunging neckline and a very high cut above her legs – very attractive.

It’s a bit rare to find an anime girl who carries a shield since, curiously, it seems to have played no role in the history of Japanese warfare. Though you won’t see any ninja or samurai girls toting shields around, some of the characters inspired by Western martial styling – like Leina and Annelotte from Queen’s Blade – do carry them, and so does Sasara. Sasara’s shield features the same white color as her armor, with a large black cross, affirming her allegiance. It looks good and adds a conspicuous element of distinction to her design.

Sasara’s statuesque pose is one of the best parts of this figure. Legs set wide and head cocked to one side, she radiates competence and confidence, with just a touch of arrogance. And sexiness as well – her aggressive stance emphasizes her armor-sheathed legs, calling attention to her bare thighs. The sinuous tilt of her body exposes the swell of her hips and highlights her narrow waist, both of which are perfectly complemented by the flare of her dress.

Her expression lies somewhere between casual nonchalance and cold-blooded disdain. Narrowed and icy blue, her eyes convey almost no emotion, and that in itself establishes a great deal of this figure’s personality. Sasara projects a somber, serious attitude – wholly appropriate given her role as a reverent avenger. It is a good thing that her eyes can carry so much of the weight of effecting her disposition because her mouth is all but vestigial. Look closely and you can sort of see that she’s scowling, but from a normal viewing distance, her mouth is basically invisible.

Though her gaze is grim, her headdress adds a bit of lighthearted counterpoint to her look. She’s wearing something reminiscent of a pair of floppy bunny ears and a hair ribbon. I tend to dislike animal ears on anime characters but since this is obviously an article of clothing, I’m fine with it here, and it’s not completely obvious that they’re animal ears, anyway.

Incidentally, her white armor and red and gold color scheme remind me a bit of A Song of Ice and Fire, specifically, the armor of the Kingsguard and the traditional colors of House Lannister. Sasara doesn’t have the right eyes, though.

I think it’s pretty hot how her navel is visible through her dress. And for people – such as myself – who don’t mind explicitness, pantyshots are easy to come by. Her underwear is cut very high, which I’m glad to see, since I think the high-cut waistband looks a lot better than the low-leg style you see a lot, such as on samurai Tamaki.

In my experience, Volks’s PVC figures aren’t exemplars of exceptional production standards, and unfortunately Sasara isn’t an exception. Look closely at her and you’ll see tiny paint flecks, little pockmarks, and all sorts of other small problems that become obvious up close or through a macro lens. However, I think her construction is a notable improvement from some of the other Moekore figures I own, particularly the Super Robot Wars girls.

It would be nice if Volks upped their game to match Alter, Good Smile Company, and Max Factory with respect to PVC figures, but even without their painting precision, Sasara is an awesome figure. There are a ton of things I like about her: her elegant armor, her steely stare, her fearless composure, the revealing tightness of her panties. And of course, I like that she is a paladin. All of this adds up to make Sasara one of my favorite figures released this year. It’s a bit of a shame that she won’t get a general release, because she definitely merits all the love the collecting community can offer her.

Daiki Kougyou is making another figure of Sasara from Dungeon Travelers; theirs is based on her samurai outfit. I have it preordered and I’m quite looking forward to it, though I’m undecided as to whether she looks better fully-clothed or cast off. I wonder if anyone will make a figure of Sasara in her Tyris Flare-inspired outfit?

Back to the top

As we get older, it seems that time moves quicker and the world changes more rapidly. However, there are some constants that do not change. Death and taxes are among the less comforting, but for figure collectors, there are at least two happy certainties: Good Smile Company will continue to make exceptional figures of the Black Rock Shooter characters, and those exceptional figures will invariably find their way into Amiami’s bargain bin. I initially waffled on preordering Strength and then decided to pass on her. However, after seeing some reviews of the figure, I changed my mind and thought about buying it for full price. I felt a price cut was likely, though, and the maxim that good things come to those who wait sometimes holds true in figure collecting – more so with the BRS stuff. So it happened that Strength got her price slashed by more than half; not quite the 2,500 yen or so that Black Rock Shooter herself went for, but still a very welcome discount.

Strength is the latest Black Rock Shooter character to receive the PVC treatment courtesy of Good Smile Company. Like the other figures in the lineup, Strength is sculpted in 1/8 scale and, with her base included, measures a bit over 15 centimeters tall. Unlike the Animation Version of Black Rock Shooter, Strength is straightforward to assemble. An instruction sheet is provided but isn’t really necessary.

Strength is ostensibly the alter ego of Yuu, the cheerful manager of Mato Kuroi’s basketball team. If I remember correctly, Strength shows up for a few seconds in the OVA but doesn’t do anything, and while there isn’t an explicit link between Strength and Yuu, they seem to have the same eye color and body stature. Perhaps a more definite explanation will be provided in the Black Rock Shooter TV anime, which is scheduled to air next season – albeit with only eight episodes. There’s a preview available on the official website. It seems that the anime will carry over the insipid plot points of the OVA while degrading the visuals – though, of course, it’s too early to draw conclusions. Hopefully it’ll be good.

Strength is a surprisingly small figure – surprising because her box is so large. Her shipping cost exceeded the cost of the figure, somewhat mitigating the value of her discount. She still has a powerful visual presence, however, courtesy of her gigantic Ogre Arms. Her hood and cowl also attract attention by directing focus towards her impassive, inscrutable stare. Less conspicuous but no less interesting is her tail, which brings up a curious and seldom-discussed aspect of figure promo photos: pantyshots. Figure makers sometimes take exquisite care to avoid panty flashes in their official pictures, and so I didn’t even know Strength’s underpants were visible. However, when viewing the figure it is nearly impossible to avoid catching a glimpse of her panties, and that directs attention to her tail. Otherwise, her tail might go unnoticed; I didn’t even know she had one until seeing some figure reviews.

The Ogre Arms are the main attraction of this figure but to be honest, I thought they looked silly and that was one of the reasons I didn’t preorder the figure. They’re obviously huge – too huge, I felt. I’ve since changed my mind, though. Seeing the figure in person, I really like the juxtaposition of Strength’s massive, mechanical arms with her tiny, waifish body.

One thing that surprised me was that her Ogre Arms actually are her arms; I thought they were some kind of power armor but no, her natural arms appear to be amputated below the shoulder. I think this is the first figure in my collection equipped with prosthetic limbs.

Her arms conform to the industrial motif of the other Black Rock Shooter figures, with a satin-like metallic finish and faint wear marks. There’s no articulation provided with the limbs or the fingers, which would have been fun to play with but I suppose might not have been very practical.

I love the fist logo painted on the arms. It conveys a sense of power, of confidence, and even of menace, and yet it is also blocky and rather cartoonish and childlike. Of course, it features only three fingers, so the fist unmistakably represents Strength’s fist, as if to simultaneously say that she stands resolute, unbowed and undeterred in the face of resistance and opposition – and also that she wants to punch people in the nose.

This figure is tagged the “Animation Version,” though there is no regular version of Strength and while the Animation Versions of the other characters depicted them in mid-charge or leaping like a psychopathic ballerina, Strength looks like she’s leaning comfortably, seemingly content to lounge on some rocks. Of course, she’s probably actually leaping backwards, but her placid expression and relaxed body language make it difficult to think she’s doing anything but chilling out.

Strength’s face is pacific, with no discernible emotion on display. Curiously, Huke’s distinctive eye design is subdued; a bit of a departure from the other figures, all of which prominently showed his trademark styling. Specifically, Strength’s eyes show a single semicircle of color as the iris, while the other figures featured two semicircles, which gave them a very recognizable look. It’s a small difference, maybe, but it’s enough for Strength to stand out quite a bit from her compatriots.

She still has a very appealing look, however, despite her apparent impassivity. Her sedate expression contrasts sharply with the latent aggression manifested in her mechanical arms. Her cowl hides her mouth, adding a sense of mystery to her visage. As does her hood, which also serves to exaggerate the size of her head, thus emphasizing her youthfulness. Her slinky black sheath dress belies her age, however; it is cut dangerously short and clings to her body, and would add a large dose of sex appeal if she had the frame to properly fill it out. She does not, however, and so it gives the effect of a young girl experimenting with her wardrobe, trying to sex herself up – and failing completely. Nonetheless, she still looks adorable, and though her clothes are perhaps designed to tantalize and arouse, one would rather scoop her up and give her a big hug.

Less open to interpretation is her underwear, which is plainly visible. She wears standard-issue white panties. Maybe black panties would have been saucier and less obvious.

Like many anime characters Strength wears a pair of thigh-high socks. A humorous touch is added by white bowties that are placed along their tops. They have a shiny, latex-like look, adding a certain fetishistic element to her design.

She also has a tail which curls back behind her. It’s segmented with vertebra-like sections and calls to mind the tail of a xenomorph from the Alien films. There’s something vaguely reptilian or insect-like about it, adding an aura of disquiet and perhaps even aversion to her look. I don’t mind it, though; I did dislike tails on characters for a while, but a couple of years playing a draenei shaman in World of Warcraft and my unabashed affection for Dizzy have in large part cured my previous disposition.

Like the other Black Rock Shooter figures, Strength comes with a stylized base. Again in keeping with the motifs of the series, Strength’s base comprises a series of black and white blocks arranged in an abstract manner. Despite the breadth and heft of this figure, Strength is quite stable.

I waited a bit for this figure and I wasn’t certain I was going to like her, but now that I own it I’m quite pleased with Strength. She manifests a number of interesting and attractive contrasts, and she possesses a very appealing design. Her apparent youth and cryptic stare give her a sense of cuteness that is unique among the Black Rock Shooter characters. Among all of the Black Rock Shooter figures, I think Strength is my favorite.

For some additional reviews – which got me to buy this figure – and great pictures of Strength, check out Neath Grim and Visual Fanfare.

Back to the top

Having owned this figure for some months now, I ponder whether I want to take pictures of it and write a post about it. I don’t think it’s a good idea, because it is not a very good figure and comes from subject material of very questionable taste. However, nobody has ever charged me or this website with possessing good taste, and there is a notable dearth of discussion regarding Giga Pulse figures on the web. As I make my decision, I hear a voice in my head …

VOICE IN MY HEAD: Hey dude.
ME: Oh hell no, not you again. Every time, every damn time you show up you try to talk me out of buying a figure. Well, it’s too late, I already bought it so you can go … wait, you’re not my Common Sense. Who the hell are you?
VOICE: Relax, I’m not here to talk you out of shit. Call me your Uncommon Sense.
ME: Alright, alright. What do you want?
UNCOMMON SENSE: Just checking out the figure you got. Uhh, holy shit dude, what’s up with this figure?
ME: What? It’s Yukino Hongou. She’s from this game called Kowaku no Toki.
US: No, no, you know what the fuck I mean, this one’s all naked and shit. Holy fuck dude.
ME: Well, yeah, I mean, she’s from a porn game and this is from Giga Pulse. You know the sort of stuff they do.

US: Dude, that figure’s crazy man. I can’t believe you can buy shit like that.
ME: Yeah, I know. Man, I don’t even know how comfortable I feel putting this stuff online, it’s like I’m making some kind of porno or something.
US: Dude, it ain’t no big deal, people see this sort of shit all the time.
ME: Well, I mean, yeah, but still …
US: Fucking kids these days, they grow up on this shit. You think they’re growing up alright and then they’re watching 2 Girls 1 Cup before you fucking know it. This shit ain’t no big deal.
ME: Okay, okay, I see your point. But still man, I dunno, this site’s getting sorta popular, I don’t really wanna scare people off or anything. I don’t really know if I want to do this.

US: Look man, this is fucking anime, right? Every fucking anime you watch there’s gonna be naked girls. Every damn one.
ME: Okay, well …
US: Like that Tomodachi show you were watching. Funny-ass show, liked that part where the two girls kept PKing each other, and then bam, this butt-ass naked girl comes running right out of the fucking shower.

ME: Yeah, but …
US: But it’s like, you expected that, right? Cuz it’s anime. You watch anime, you’re gonna see naked girls. So all these dudes looking at your site, they’re used to this shit, okay? They’ve seen animated tits and ass a billion fucking times already. They’re used to it. You can’t freak them out.
ME: Alright, alright, I get you. I’ll review this figure then.
US: Review?
ME: I mean, you know, talk about the paint quality, maybe mention if there’s visible seam lines and mold marks and stuff …
US: Dude, dude, look, dude, listen to me … nobody reading this gives a fuck about any of that shit, okay? Nobody gives a fuck. You don’t buy a fucking Giga Pulse figure cuz it’s sculpted like a Greek goddess, you buy it cuz she’s got a fucking broomstick shoved up her ass, alright?
ME: Okay, okay, you’re probably right.
US: And what’s with all this blurry shit? Dude, people wanna see the fucking figure, they don’t wanna see your fucking low-f-stop camera-wanking.

ME: Okay, there, are you happy?
US: See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Damn, they gave her some detail.
ME: It’s probably the only good part of the figure. The figure ain’t all that. Man, it’s pretty bad, actually. Hard as hell to put together, too, since she’s got so many parts.
US: But you only got this figure for like one reason, right?
ME: Pretty much. Oh, and Kowaku no Toki looked pretty cool too.

US: So is that one of those porny cartoon games?
ME: Yeah, pretty much.
US: What’s it about?
ME: Well, it’s about the Hongou family who lives in this strange mansion, and I think there’s this detective guy named Kyosuke who has these weird visions about … ahh fuck it, it’s pretty much about these girls who get raped a bunch. That’s pretty much all it’s about.
US: Sounds fucked up, man.
ME: Yeah, it pretty much is.

US: But like, that shit ain’t no big deal, is it? Fuck man, you were watching that Yosuga no Sora shit and they show incest right there on fucking television. It’s like, you gotta be a fucking pervert if you’re gonna be an anime fan.
ME: Yeah, seems like it.
US: Why don’t you show some pictures from the game?

ME: Dude … I dunno man, it’s pretty nasty stuff.
US: It can’t be that bad.
ME: Man, I don’t think they really wanna see this …
US: Dude, stop being a fucking pussy, the whole reason you started this site was to show people shit like this. You gotta remember your roots, man. Are you gonna fucking puss out now?

ME: No …
US: Then show the fucking pictures.
ME: Okay, okay … let’s start with a gentle one. How about this one?

US: She looks pretty happy there. I thought you said this shit was fucked up.
ME: It is. Let’s see, then there’s this one …

US: Dude, that could’ve come right out of a TV anime.
ME: Okay, okay, how about this one?

US: … Holy shit, she got fucked up.
ME: Yeah, I know. She gets pissed on in the picture right after that one. Hmm, here’s a cool one.

US: What the fuck are they doing to her?
ME: I think they’re filling her up with Whoppers. Wait, this one’s pretty neat.

US: Uhh …
ME: Yeah, that one’s neat. Especially where that thing goes next. Good times right there. Oh hey, here’s another fun one!

US: … Dude, are those fucking eels?
ME: How the fuck should I know, do I look like a biology major? Let’s see … ah, here we go, this one’s the best picture of them all!

US: …. Dude, what the fuck is that?!
ME: I think it’s a bull. Or maybe it could be a horse? I’m pretty sure it’s a bull though. Isn’t that awesome?
US: …
ME: And they even kept that scene in the anime! Damn, I’m glad they did. You know, I was really worried when PoRo announced they were gonna be making the anime cuz their stuff is kinda on the softcore side and I wasn’t sure how it was gonna turn out.
US: …
ME: And all their characters have that PoRo face, you know? I mean, it’s not a bad face or anything, but it’s like man, it all looks the same in every anime they make.
US: …

Dat PoRo face.

ME: But then I saw the anime and I was like, holy shit man, they kept the fucking bull scene. And they even put the stun baton in her, too. You know, I kinda think PoRo is behind Suzuki Mirano and Ordin Soft and Pixy, of course, but they got some good shit out. I even liked that one show with that one girl who looks kinda like that girl from that one magical girl show. But Kowaku no Toki, man, that was awesome. It’s a much better show than, like, Guilty Crown or some shit.
US: …
ME: Man, Guilty Crown, you talk about a show that’s trying too hard. It’s like, you think if you put together The Matrix and Final Fantasy VIII, you’d get a better show than that. I dunno how they fucked it up. I mean, the dude even looks like Squall’s scrub-ass little brother. At least the girl’s cute and gots some fine tits, and -
US: Dude, that’s fucking disgusting!
ME: Well, I dunno about that, I mean, yeah, I can understand if you don’t like seeing that pink-haired girl get beat up and thrown off a bridge and … wait, what?
US: Those fucking pictures, man! What the fuck?! What the fuck is wrong with you??
ME: What, the Kowaku no Toki ones? What’s wrong with them? Wait, here’s another one.

US: AHHHHHHH, WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!
ME: Dude, calm the fuck down, you said it was no big deal right? What’s your problem? It’s just a fucking bull coming out of a girl. Look, here’s a picture of the bull-rape scene from the anime.

US: Get the fuck away from me!
ME: Dude, what’s your deal? This shit isn’t that bad.
US: You are such a fucking pervert! Stay the fuck away from me! Ahhhh!
ME: Jesus, calm the fuck down. Look, here, here’s another cap from the anime, it’s hard to tell what’s going on, right?

US: Jesus fuck man, stop showing this shit!
ME: Alright, alright, just fucking calm down. Take a deep breath or something. Damn, dude.
US: Fuck you, man! You’re fucking diseased! Stay the fuck away from me! I don’t want your fucking AIDS!
ME: What the fuck are you talking about?
US: You fucking heard me, get the fuck away from me! You’re a fucking pervert! I can’t believe you’re fucking posting this shit! You’re gonna get fucked by the FBI!
ME: Dude, calm down, they got bigger fish to fry than some guy who watches cartoons. What’s your problem? It’s just anime.
US: I’m never fucking coming to your site again! Dude, you are fucked up!
ME: Come on man, don’t do that. Here, let me show you another picture …
US: Fuck no, man! I’m out of here!
ME: … Damn, dude. It ain’t that bad, is it?

Back to the top